RichardRoll.com

Happy Valentine’s Day

In our Valentine’s Day newsletter, we wanted to give everyone some secrets of having more intimacy and closeness.

According to our Boomer Expert and relationship coach Angie Grainger, if you want to rekindle your relationship and improve your love-life then talk about money! Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

Money issues are the fastest way of breaking down love, trust and intimacy because they trigger high levels of fear, distrust and uncertainty.

To read more tips from Angie Grainger, click here:http://bit.ly/xs2Hr6

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My Visit to Washington Turns Historic

It all started when I got the email from my Aunt Connie, my late Dad’s sister, inviting my family and me to come to Alexandria, VA for a rare family reunion celebrating the 90th birthday of my Uncle Tolly, a retired Army dentist and all around great guy.

My Uncle's Speech at His 90th Birthday Party

So there we were, at the Ft. Belvoir golf club, with 50 relatives who had assembled from the West, East, and Gulf coasts, from the age of 90 down to age 1. There was truly a deep feeling of legacy, as I met for the first time the numerous young offspring of my cousins and second cousins.

From Tolly, a proud member of the Greatest Generation, to myself and our Baby Boomer cousins, what kind of a legacy and country were we going to be leaving for the youngsters (including my own twin daughters who are currently age 9)?

The next day, we realized that our hotel was just 5 miles away from Mount Vernon, the historic mansion and farm of George Washington, the Father of our Country. We decided to check it out.

Let me tell you, our minds were blown. The entire George Washington estate has been restored and expanded with a museum, and numerous educational multimedia presentations funded by a private foundation. The story of Washington’s childhood, upbringing, early career as a hero of the French and Indian war, and leadership in winning the Revolutionary War with the British against tremendous odds, is breathtaking. The qualities of Washington himself–who turned down the invitation to become the King of the colonies (twice), who served as Commander of the colonial forces without pay, and whose influence enabled the U.S. Constitution to be created and put in place after the post-war Articles of Confederation became dysfunctional–are utterly inspiring. George Washington brought competence, strategy, political skill, persistence, resilience, and a belief in a higher power and a greater good, to the principles on which our nation was founded.

My daughters enjoying George Washington's estate on the Potomac.

While George Washington is known as our country’s first President and Commander in Chief, he thought of himself first and foremost as a farmer. Recognizing the inadequacies of 18th-Century farming practices, he pioneered innovative and environmentally-friendly methods, including crop rotation, and the use of organic fertilizers, and recycling.

George Washington was an entrepreneurial farmer and businessman and an outstanding manager. His whiskey distillery and gristmill and farm utilized innovative technologies that were cutting-edge in the 18th-century. His thriving farming and fishing businesses required a wharf to transport goods by boat to Alexandria.

Everyone in both houses of Congress should be required by law to visit Mount Vernon during their first year in office.

Failure to know the true foundation principles and values underlying our country’s founding results in ignorant, uninformed and belligerent opinions, which are totally adverse to the spirit in which our Country came into being, and which must be restored.

Which leads me to…

The House and Senate Were About to Vote on the Debt Ceiling

Ironically, this iconic family event took place just as the Congress was debating the debt ceiling and how to cut the deficit.

After visiting Mt. Vernon on Sunday, I met with Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) and two of his aides at his Senate office on Monday afternoon, moments after the House voted to raise the debt ceiling. We had a very productive and candid 45-minute talk about the state of affairs in Congress, and innovations needed to respond to Baby Boomers’ challenges (including a detailed discussion of how my Social Security reform proposal to create the Boomer Corps could positively affect communities, non-profits, Boomer mental and physical health, and our nation’s well being).

A Historic Moment for the Roll Family

The Next Day

The next day, my family and I were at the Capitol and in the Senate Gallery just after the Senators had voted to increase the debt ceiling. Yet hearing the discussion and debate, I couldn’t help but feel that the Senate and in fact the entire Congress is totally not up to the task of making the hard choices and dealing out the shared pain that which are needed to bring the Country back to a solid footing, both ideologically and financially.

Two days later, the S&P rating for the U.S. was downgraded, for the first time in history. Based on the dismay and despair I heard in the voice of Sen. Mark Warner of Virginia, speaking of the standoff in Congress over providing funding to the FAA (for air safety!), and the willingness of Congress to incur an immediate revenue loss of $1.2 billion in aviation tax revenues, rather than vote a $14 million allocation, I came away feeling that the current leaders of Congress are not capable of the task of trimming the wasteful practices and habits that have gotten us into this debt crisis.

What is needed in Washington is hardnosed and experienced turnaround management, not a bunch of amateurs with no hard-earned experience balancing the books. No wonder a whopping 62% of Americans said they would dump all current legislators in Congress if they could vote today, according to a survey released August 4.

What should we do?

I believe we must immediately get this country onto a budget that is lean and mean, and do so on a proportional, shared sacrifice basis, without endangering the survival of the most vulnerable citizens.

1. We must restore individual income tax rates to their historic levels of decades past, which were in place during both Republican and Democratic administrations. We need to tell corporations, if U.S. citizens must pay their taxes, you must pay your taxes for the privilege of being part of this unique country. And if you don’t want to share the benefits of being a “citizen” of the U.S., then go ahead and leave.

2. We will then need to incentivize through tax policy investments in start-ups and growth ventures that will create the jobs to replace any corporations that elect to leave.

3. Finally, we should pass legislation that imposes on Congress the same lifestyle experiences faced by ordinary Americans with respect to health insurance, pensions, Social Security, and job insecurity. Once that happens, we’ll see how quickly they turn themselves and the country around!

In the meantime, what can you personally do to protect yourself and your retirement savings?

This Thursday at 10AM EST, I will be sending you a letter and a video presentation I recommend you watch. I think it will tell you some sound steps to take going forward in this perilous economy.

Be sure to watch for it in your inbox.

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The Top 5 Killers of Men

I recently found this article below on Yahoo Health and felt the need to share it because it contains a heads up on some issues that are so critical for Baby Boomers, especially Boomer men to be aware of (http://health.yahoo.net/experts/menshealth/top-5-killers-of-men).

It contains information that everyone should be aware of. These issues can take you out of the game permanently.  Learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones:

It was a sunny September day in the Pacific Northwest, and Jeff Hale had just closed a $1.5 million deal. To celebrate, he was taking the afternoon off, relaxing on his patio lounge, and playing ball with his dog. That’s when he began feeling compression high in his chest, some pain in his left shoulder, and an unsettling sense of dread. At 44, he was in relatively good shape, although 15 pounds overweight and under a lot of stress from work. At first, he thought it was an asthma attack and took a hit off his inhaler. But when that didn’t help, he remembered an article he’d read in Men’s Health.

“There were two things from that article I recalled,” he recounted to our reporter a few years ago. “One was that every heart attack is unique. My symptoms will be different from your symptoms. The other was, if you suspect you’re having a heart attack, take an aspirin.” Hale took two and drove himself to the hospital. He almost didn’t make it. Doctors found blockages in three arteries and performed a triple bypass the next day. “They told me I’d saved my life,” says Hale. “The aspirin thinned my blood, and the inhaler dilated my arteries.”

Heart disease is the number one killer of men, claiming the lives of nearly 400,000 fathers, friends, brothers, and sons every year. Often, the difference between life and death is razor thin—remembering to pop an aspirin, not delaying your trip to the E.R.

This week is National Men’s Health Week, which was created by Congress in 1994 to raise the awareness of the health threats uniquely facing men. To commemorate, we’ve put together a list of the most popular ways to die as a man in America. Collectively, these diseases kill nearly one million of us annually. And, chances are, your lifestyle or genetic profile puts you at risk for at least one of them.

But, as Jeff Hale learned, our fates are not sealed. If you understand your risks, and learn how to negate them, you can outrun the reaper. Here’s how:

STROKE
Why you’re at risk: Each year, nearly 50,000 American men die of a stroke, according to the American Heart Association. I know what you’re thinking: But those are really old men. But you’re wrong. In fact, 1 in 14 stroke victims is younger than 45. As a neurologist I interviewed a few years ago told me: “If you did MRI scans on a hundred 40-year-olds, you’d see that a large number have already had a silent stroke.” And that’s scary because small, silent strokes often precede large, debilitating strokes.

What you can do about it: Keep your blood pressure at 120/80 or lower. Every 20-point increase in systolic BP (the top number) or every 10-point rise in diastolic BPdoubles your risk of dying of a stroke, says Walter Kernan, M.D., an associate professor of medicine at Yale University. The good news: Simple lifestyle changes can dramatically reduce your risk. Assess your stroke risk right here, and learn how to turn the odds in your favor.

CHRONIC OBSTRUCTIVE PULMONARY DISEASE
Why you’re at risk: Nearly 60,000 men died from COPD—which includes chronic bronchitis and emphysema—in 2006, according to the CDC. The chief cause: the Marlboro Man. In fact, smoking causes 80 percent of COPD deaths. Considering that tobacco use has also been directly linked to the other man killers on our Top 5 list—notably, heart disease (#1) and cancer (#2)—you have to ask: Why are people still smoking?

What you can do about it: It’s pretty simple, really. You need to figure out how to kick butts for good. Improve your odds by joining a gym—smokers who are trying to quit often fall off the wagon during stressful moments. Regular exercise lowers levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, in the brain. Warning: Going cold turkey is one of the least successful ways of quitting. Find out how to tilt the odds of success in your favor by checking out Will You Be Able to Quit Smoking?

ACCIDENTS
Why you’re at risk: According to the CDC, 80,000 men die each year in unexpected tragedies, from sports injuries to fires to falls. But the most preventable accidental deaths are the 30,000 that occur on America’s roads every year.

What’s that? You’re a great driver? Not surprising that you think so. According to a study by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, 72 percent of drivers regard themselves as more skilled than everyone else. Researchers trace the bias to a fundamental information imbalance, namely that the poorest performers are also the least able to recognize skill (or lack of skill) in themselves or others.

But fine, let’s say it’s true. Then consider the guys you’re sharing the road with: Surveys indicate there’s a nearly 80 percent chance they speed regularly, and a 53 percent likelihood they talk on the phone while driving. There’s a 4 percent chance they run red lights—on purpose—and a 2 percent chance they have driven after drinking too much. These guys make Evel Knievel look like a defensive driver.

What you can do about it: If you do one thing today, make it this: Stop texting while driving. You’ve probably heard that texting behind the wheel is just as dangerous as drinking and driving. Not true. Texting is way more dangerous. In fact, texting increases your risk of a crash by 23 times (versus 11 times for driving under the influence), according to a Virginia Tech study. Step into the MH Driving Simulatorand test how well you multitask behind the wheel. 

CANCER
Why you’re at risk: The Big C killed nearly 300,000 men in 2010, according to the American Cancer Society. Lung cancer tops the list, accounting for 29 percent of all cancer deaths, followed by prostate cancer (11 percent) and colon/rectum cancer (9 percent). We all know that smoking causes lung cancer, but the risk factors for prostate cancer are less well known. Yet, it’s one of the most common—1 in 6 men will get prostate cancer in their lifetimes—and least understood killers of men.

What you can do about it: Take our quiz to determine your risk. If you’re at high risk, put certain staples of the Mediterranean diet on your plate. A study published in theJournal of the National Cancer Institute shows that men who eat more than 10 grams of garlic or scallions (about three cloves of garlic or 2 tablespoons of scallions) daily have a 50 percent lower risk of prostate cancer than those who eat less than 2 grams. Sound like too much of a good thing? Other studies have linked the lycopene in cooked tomato products to lower prostate cancer risk; aim for at least two servings a week. And if you really like coffee . . . Harvard researchers found that drinking 6 cups a day reduces your risk of developing advanced prostate cancer by 59 percent.

HEART DISEASE
Why you’re at risk: This is the deadliest disease known to man. More than 1 in 3 adult men have some sort of heart disease and more than 390,000 men died of the killer in 2007, according to the American Heart Association.

But you’re a fit, healthy guy, right? Why would you die of heart disease? Believe it or not, not every victim of the disease is overweight or inactive. Men’s Health Editor Peter Moore discovered this eight years ago. He was doing everything right: He was thin, exercised regularly, and ate a healthy diet. But none of that prevented one of the arteries in his heart from becoming 99 percent blocked. Still think you’re risk-free? You can find out your heart disease risk by clicking right here.

What you can do about it: Small lifestyle changes can yield big results when it comes to improving heart health. Here are four simple changes you can make today:

• Exercise for 30 minutes. Middle-aged men who exercise vigorously for two hours a week (aim for 30 minutes, four times a week) have a 60 percent lower risk of a heart attack than inactive men.

• Lose the spare tire. If you’re overweight, dropping 10 to 20 pounds lowers your risk of dying from a heart attack. In fact, a 10-year study found that overweight people had heart attacks 8.2 years earlier than normal-weight victims.

• Drink five glasses of water a day. Men who drink that many 8-ounce glasses are 54 percent less likely to have a fatal heart attack than those who drink two glasses or fewer. Researchers say the water dilutes the blood, making it less likely to clot.

• Count to 10. Keeping your cool under stress may keep you alive. Men who respond with anger are three times more likely to have heart disease and five times more likely to have a heart attack before turning 55.

Article Source: http://health.yahoo.net/experts/menshealth/top-5-killers-of-men

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The World’s Most Beautiful Things

Have you ever had the experience of being virtually “knocked off your feet” by an endless onslaught of wonders, all gathered together surprisingly and impossibly in one single condensed, rich, atmospheric and utterly beguiling place?

That was the experience I had when I recently satisfied a long-time yearning and visited New York’s J.P. Morgan Library and Museum (Madison Ave. at 36th Street).  I’ve always held a fascination with J.P. Morgan, a man larger than life and one of the nation’s great financiers at the end of the 19th century.  Morgan, toward the end of his life, set out to build America’s leading collection of “the most beautiful things in the world.”  Not, say his admirers, as a tribute to himself; but rather to provide a range of the most beautiful cultural objects from around the world to America, the assembled for viewing by the public, out of his belief that Americans were being deprived of sufficient access to this type of culture in the day to day hustle and bustle of settling the country.

The range of articles he collected, both from ancient times, Renaissance Europe, and from American arts and history, is truly-awe inspiring.  Morgan’s original mansion including his sitting room and personal library, were recently renovated and you can see such rarities as examples of the Gutenberg bible, handwritten, signed music scores by Beethoven and Mozart, letters and manuscripts by Dickens, Twain, Thoreau, Poe, and Ralph Waldo Emerson; ancient and medieval illuminated manuscripts and objects of art, ornate tapestries, and period furniture.  Perhaps most startling is how accessible everything is–you can look closely at everything from the Gutenberg Bible to a 12th Century gilded artifact said to contain an original remnant of the Cross. 

Just as Morgan set out to create a collection of the world’s most beautiful things, we at the Boomers Retirement Network have set out to collect the world’s most beautiful and well-crafted solutions for our Baby Boomer members to put to use in creating your most satisfying life going forward.  You’ll see a number of these solutions featured in this issue of “The Beat Goes On.”  Each has been hand-picked to help you realize all your future dreams that you possibly can.  So don’t miss out on any of them! 

Committed to your success,
Richard Roll

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My Top 10 New Years Resolutions for Baby Boomers in 2011

Best Holiday Wishes!   And here are my Top 10 New Years Resolutions for all of us Baby Boomers in 2011 (be sure to give me your comments and feedback please!):

You’ve probably heard that the first Baby Boomers are reaching the traditional retirement age of 65 starting this coming New Years Day, January 1, 2011. Incredibly, every day for the next 19 years, 10,000 members of the Woodstock Generation will turn 65, yes–10,000 Boomers turning 65 every day, for the next 19 years!  That’s about 7 Boomers every second!

So what steps can Boomers be taking to make 2011 a great year for them?  Here are 10 areas every Boomer can be looking at right now, to have the high quality of life they want in their next stage of life.  Here are my Top 10 New Years Resolutions for Boomers in 2011 (and for everyone else who wants to be able to retire some day, too):

I resolve that I will:

1.  Take Control to Have Enough Money to Retire Some Day—Put away enough money in 2011 to get your 401(k) match, if your employer offers it—that’s free money that can immediately double your retirement investment (just make sure you don’t keep it all in one company’s stock).

2.  Re-Balance, Diversify, and Keep the Costs of My Investments Low—Take a new look at all the investment choices offered in your 401(k) plan.  Make sure to re-balance your investment allocations and expand into investments that will preserve asset value in the next few years, including some that can benefit from emerging economies growing faster than our own.

3. Investigate the Best Ways to Have Continuing Income After I Retire From My Primary Career—Cultivate passions and talents that can provide you ongoing income (such as subject matter expertise, information marketing, consulting, collecting).  Forget about the old idea of “retiring from.”  Think of what it is you will “retire to.”

4. Get Moving Every Day in 2011 and Improve My Health—The biggest single health threat for most Boomers is from diseases of their heart and circulatory system.  The best antidote: Get moving every day, for 30 minutes a day, in the exercise of your choice (and with the approval of your doctor).  Too many people think of their health in terms of treatment, rather than prevention of disease, and that’s a calamity.

5. Take Better Steps to Help in Caring for My Aging Parents, And Provide for Preserving My Own Sanity—Anticipate the predictable stages of change in the capacities of your parents, and start a conversation with them now to clarify their wishes regarding actions to be taken or not taken at the end of life.  Put in motion the documents, which will provide legally for their wishes to be carried out.  Don’t keep putting it off, and don’t assume everything will stay the same

6.  Have a Will (and also a Living Will) Made Up This Year by An Attorney, Based on My Outline—Even if you don’t care a whit what happens to your money or property after you die, you owe it to your relatives to have a will (and a Living Will, so that in any event, you won’t burden your children, spouse or caretaker with making the key decisions without your input). Without a will, family squabbles and bickering will inevitably arise (and momentarily tarnish your memory).

7. Build My Dreams Together With My Spouse and Significant Others—Start sharing your future retirement dreams together now…it’s stimulating, fun and productive.  The key to planning for your enjoyable next stage of life is to build-in all the possibilities. You should organize activities that you can do individually as well as activities that you can pursue as a couple.

8.  Learn My A, B, C’s: Research and Decide the Best Place(s) for Me to Live in the Future, and When—Many aspects of retirement planning get involved with considerations of money.  However, here is where you get to consider the potentially huge variations in your annual cost-of-living – the expense side of wherever you choose to live.

9.  Enjoy a Travel Adventure While Visiting My A,B,C’s—Where to live for the rest of your life? That’s a question many baby boomers are asking themselves and each other these days. It’s difficult to know what life is like in a different part of the country, or the world, without spending some quality time there, in a few choice locations, at different times of the year.  2011 is your year to start planning for this critically important decision by investing in one or more strategic travel adventures, to investigate the potential best new location for your next stage of life.

10. Tap Into the Wisdom of the Ages to Strengthen My Spirit and Wellbeing—To deepen your faith beyond today’s concerns, tap into the Wisdom of the ages and strengthen your inner resources.  Whether through a church, temple, yoga, volunteering, other spiritual practices, reading of the sacred texts, or all of the above, restore your faith in the eternal intelligence of the universe.  Much has been written on the topic of finding happiness after retirement because it is so fundamental and yet so challenging for many retirees. One good place to start is with a little self-examination, along with obtaining inspiration from wise authors and trusted acquaintances whose ideas and input you wouldn’t have easily discovered by yourself.

Richard Roll

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Thanksgiving Wishes

Thank goodness for Thanksgiving! It gives us the chance to stop the noise and the busyness, and remember to acknowledge and give thanks for our Blessings, Assets, and Gifts.

This past Saturday, my family and I helped assemble and deliver Thanksgiving baskets and turkeys to families in need in Bridgeport and New Haven, Connecticut. What a gift it was for us! We shared the spirit of the season with adults and children in a number of households. They were dealing with challenges, as we all are in this struggling economy. We shared our humanity together. It was a joyful and heart warming experience for all!

I wish you and your loved ones a joyous and peaceful Thanksgiving.

With warm regards,
Richard Roll

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Support the Boomer Corps Initiative

Support the Boomer Corps Initiative–Help Reform Social Security Positively:

With the noisy rhetoric of the mid-term elections now behind us, it’s clear again that our country is still facing the same old problems, with few innovative solutions being proposed, and even fewer being acted upon by those whose leadership we are now depending on.

One of those problems is how to sustain a Social Security system that is no longer collecting enough funds to pay out monthly benefits at forecasted rates, while the Treasury itself faces record deficits, and retiring Boomers face horrible second career job prospects in the current economy.

For several years now I have been studying the Social Security data and past proposed solutions, while racking my brain to come up with at least a partial solution that can make a difference in rebuilding our country’s greatness.  I finally came up with it:  The Boomer Corps Initiative.  I have now bounced this idea off scores of knowledgable people of every political stripe, in every part of the country.  And they seem to like it a lot.

Now it’s your turn.

For starters, check out the brand new video we’ve posted all around the web (including YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and lots of other sites).  It’s only a few minutes long, but make sure you’re sitting down and holding onto your hat when the explosive facts start to fly!  To Watch the Video, Click Here.

At the end of the video, you’ll see the details about the Boomer Corps Initiative, and the site to go to for more complete information: www.boomersretirementnetwork.com/boomercorps .  Go there, sign the petition, and forward it onto a friend (or lots of friends).  We need to get things moving across this country to save Social Security without breaking America!

And don’t forget to email me with your thoughts and opinions at Richard.Roll@mybbrc.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , or on Facebook at Baby Boomers Retirement Club.

To Our Success,

Richard Roll

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Eye Opening Revelations: What I Learned at the AARP National Convention

I just got back from the AARP National Convention in Orlando, Florida, and it was fascinating to hear all the different points of view about the situation facing most Baby Boomers in our country.

Kathleen Sibelius—Head of the Department of Health and Human Services in Washington, talking about how health care reform will affect seniors

Newt Gingrich—Talking about Health Care reimbursement Fraud that’s costing the tax payers tens of billions

James Carville & Mary Matalin—Talking about the upcoming election races

Whoopi Goldberg—Interviewing Larry King and talking about how he at age 76 still conceives children without viagra

Rob Reiner—who has a new film out that’s supposed to be terrific

Even Crosby Stills & Nash were there. I’m a big fan but I didn’t see them on this trip, I imagine they played their song “helpless helpless helpless helpless.”

It all reminds me of the man who fell off the top of the Empire State Building. He’s falling and falling, and by the time he gets to the 50^th floor, people are hearing about it and poking their heads out the window. Someone asks him, “How are you doing? Are you ok?” and he calls back, “So far, so good!”

Well we know how that’s going to most likely turn out. And the longevity we’re seeing today, and the future entitlements costs in this country, with 78 million Baby Boomers, the first ones turn 65 on January 1, 2011 (1/1/11).

I went to the AARP Convention to get a bird’s eye view of the state of over-50 America and I’ll tell you, I was fascinated to meet and talk to some the 20,000 people who were there, I’d say 80% or more were over 65, many in their 70’s. some in their 80’s and one lady I heard had just turned 90, lovely people and one thing I can tell you if you’re a Baby Boomer—one of these days that’s going to be you and me! And we’ve got to get ready for it now. The average Boomers will live more than half their adult life after 50.

More and more people are talking about what they’re calling the Third Chapter—the 25 years between age 50 and age 75—as a new stage of mid-life with a whole new set of possibilities, which is great. New purpose, new adventured, new passion. But it’s a lot tougher if you’re doing it without any money, or without enough money.

A lot of these older people I met there were teachers or worked for the Federal government. They’ve got great pensions so there were a few things I came away with from there that I believe stronger than ever:

1) There is no one number. You’ve got to work on your future, financial and lifestyle situations from both ends at the same time, money in, money out, over time

2) There is no one investment—its all about different buckets

3) Taxes and powerful strategies to minimize them are going to be more important to almost everyone than pure investment returns by themselves. Taxes are obviously going to be going up, all kinds of taxes

4) Every successful professional golfer, every successful pro tennis player, has a coach. They don’t try to do it all by themselves. Everyone must have some kind of coach, an unbiased, up to date coach or source of coaching. You’d have to be crazy not to.

But it’s hard to find that kind of coach today and that’s why I created the Boomers Retirement Network and the 10 Minute Retirement Quiz. It’s all about making what comes next work for you.

I’m going to tell you where to take the free 10-Minute Retirement Quiz that’s easy and confidential with no wrong answers. People tell me that it helps them get tremendous clarity about their priorities and then it gives you a lot of free resources and puts you on a good track to move forward. Again, it’s free and your privacy is protected.

Go to www.BoomersRetirementNetwork.com today—Take the Quiz. Thousands of people have already taken it and I highly recommend it.

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The Older We Get…

Very fun and cute situations. This will make you smile at least once

The older we  get….

ONE

Recently,  when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that  you could
have
an order of 6, 9 or  12 Chicken
McNuggets.

I  asked for a half dozen nuggets.

‘We  don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager  at the counter.

‘You don’t?’  I replied.

‘We only have six, nine,  or twelve,’ was the reply.

‘So I can’t  order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order  six?’

‘That’s right.’

So I  shook my head and ordered six  McNuggets

(Unbelievable  but sadly  true…)

TWO

I was  checking out at the  local Wal-Mart with just a few  items and
the
lady behind me put her things on  the
belt close to mine. I picked up one of  those ‘dividers’ that they keep
by
the cash  register and placed it between our things so  they wouldn’t
get
mixed.

After the  girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up  the
‘divider’,
looking it all over for the bar  code so she could scan it.

Not finding  the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much  this
is?’

I said to her ‘I’ve changed  my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that
today.’

She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her  for the things and left.

She had no clue to  what had just happened.

THREE

A woman at  work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy  drive
and
pulling it out very  quickly.

When I inquired as to what  she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the
Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card  number, so she was using the ATM  ‘thingy.’

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently  saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her  car. ‘Do you
need some help?’ I  asked.

She replied, ‘I knew I should  have replaced the battery to this remote
door  unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think  they
(pointing to a
distant convenience store)  would have a battery to fit  this?’

‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you  have an alarm, too?’ I asked.

‘No, just  this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and  the car
keys
to me.  As I took the key and  manually unlocked the door, I replied,
‘Why
don’t  you drive over there and check about the batteries.  It’s a long
walk….’

PLEASE  just lay down before you hurt yourself  !!!

FIVE

Several  years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.  One day
she
was typing and turned to a secretary  and
said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What  do I do?’ ‘Just use paper
from
the photocopier’,  the secretary told her. With that, the intern  took
her
last remaining blank piece of paper, put  it on the photocopier and
proceeded to make five  ‘blank’ copies.

Brunette,  by the way!!

SIX

A mother calls  911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs  to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had  eaten ants. The
dispatcher
tells her to give  the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine,  the
mother
says, ‘I just gave him some  ant killer……’

Dispatcher:  ‘Rush him in to emergency!’

Life is  tough. It’s even tougher if  you’re stupid!!!!

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Check out this article I found

Check out this article I found in The New York Times on Woody Allen and his position on getting older.  The link is posted on my BBRC Facebook fan page.  Go there to read the article.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Baby-Boomers-Retirement-Club-BBRC/253436943585

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